“What’s it like to be a woman in a male-dominated field?”
I’ve been asked this question countless times in my career, as kitchens are notoriously owned, operated, and staffed by men—and that’s to say nothing of the male investors, media personalities, and influencers who comprise the broader ecosystem of the food industry. But the truth is, it’s nearly impossible to provide a concise answer. Every job, scenario, and person is different, and this is a deeply-rooted, layered issue (which is common in many other professions, too).
Simply being in these spaces as a woman is to subvert expectations, but there are added assumptions once we’re in the door: that we’re not as strong physically and mentally, or that we should be more maternal and nurturing, particularly in leadership roles. We have to work harder than our male counterparts for the same opportunities, which are often more limited in availability (a fact that creates complicated competitive dynamics), and frequently for less pay. We have to hold stronger boundaries while at the same time being cautious of how we present ourselves, because what may read as commendably ambitious for a man can be seen as ruthlessness in a woman (or something much less positive). We have to care—a lot—but also be delicate if we want to avoid negative reactions that might threaten our progress.
Of course, with every challenge, there are also opportunities. Fortunately, there are a number of ways women can find a sense of empowerment, lift one another, and contribute to positive, lasting change.
Define Your Philosophy and Focus Your Energy
First of all, it’s critical to identify what you value, both personally and professionally. While refining your philosophy can take time and evolve, a solid starting point is to prioritize integrity, respect, and professionalism.
Your unique set of principles will help you stay focused and determine how you want to operate, where you want to be, and which influences and practices you hope to absorb and carry forward. It’s also helpful to identify who you choose to be around and learn from.
In my life, there have been times when I wasn’t 100% satisfied with a job or position, but I chose to stick with it because of the person or people I was working for and with. I made sacrifices because the human beings involved were the most valuable part of the equation, not the job or role itself. Find individuals you want to work with, whether that’s a chef, a restaurateur, or other leader in your field who you consider a role model, a mentor who can offer meaningful lessons and guidance, or a team you admire or respect. Instead of seeking a title or chasing a sense of prestige associated with a particular establishment, level, or accolade, focus on the people around you – mentors, partners, and collaborators. And then someday, you can strive to be that beacon for others.
Surround Yourself with Support
On a similar note, there are some roads you have to take on your own, especially early in your career, but when possible, remember there is strength in numbers. Find a community that will protect you, support your ambition, and lift you up—in your personal life as well as in your work. You want people around you who allow you to be ambitious without feeling threatened, who won’t make you feel bad about being driven, and who will be there to help you up when your best laid plans don’t pan out perfectly, or when your positivity takes a hit.
Sharing resources and being transparent also makes a major difference for women in the industry, and it helps to seek out trusted networks and sources. One example for me has been Cherry Bombe—a publication that celebrates the excellence of women within the industry. The annual Cherry Bombe Jubilee is a gathering of women in and around the food world, and when I attended for the first time and met professionals from an array of related disciplines, I knew it was a space in which women were the focus, and fellow attendees would have a better understanding of the particular challenges we all face.
Of course, you don’t have to interface solely with women, but it can be liberating, inspiring, and generative to be in a space without the pressure to justify your presence—where you can freely explore the person and professional you are and hope to be.
Work Smarter, Not Harder
In industries that are notoriously difficult for women, you will likely find many systems have been built by and for men. Know that we don’t have to conform to or feel boxed in by precedent. So many women have gotten super creative at finding fresh, unique, and ultimately better ways to exist and excel in this industry, and have exemplified opportunities to carve out space. Just because something has always been done a certain way does not mean it’s the best way, so ask questions. If you don’t see what you’re looking for, can you create it? Can you start a group, or spearhead an initiative, or speak to someone in charge who you know will be receptive?
Make sure you feel empowered to take a different approach. Allow yourself to be inventive and come up with new solutions, and know that how you embody this philosophy will invite others to do so, too. Encourage creativity in those around you; more voices adding to a greater pool of resources and ideas helps promise a better future for everyone.
Spread the Positive
Learning from one another’s experience is critical to substantial, systemic growth, and being generous in sharing yours whenever possible can go a long way. That said, be selective about how you do so in order to protect yourself and your message. Sometimes social media is a super effective and appropriate platform. Other times, you may want to choose a more intimate space for vulnerable conversations, one where you can feel safe and confident that you’re not opening yourself up to public criticism. When you can, put yourself in rooms and in spaces where there are women seated at the table, and always seek out diverse scenarios in general. Having a variety of perspectives is essential to making well-informed decisions that benefit the greater good.
Of course, you may also run into less positive situations between women at times. Some might want to protect their own information because it feels as if there’s limited space for women in the industry, and it’s scary to share. But how you respond and navigate those challenging interactions is part of creating positive change, too. You can’t control someone else’s choices and behaviors, but you can try not to operate from a place of scarcity. And if you don’t feel as if you can offer a boost, you can always step to the side and refrain from actively putting up roadblocks. Remember that there will always be more opportunities, and you are the only you.
Know Your Power
At the end of the day, there are moments when women — or anyone, for that matter — may feel as if they don’t have any power in their position. It’s critical to recognize that every single human has influence, no matter what their reach. That influence doesn’t just have to be through social media or similar platforms, and your reach doesn’t necessarily mean a number of followers. Ultimately, it’s the quality of interactions—not the quantity—that matters. I’ve spoken to thousands of people in auditoriums, at conferences and award ceremonies, but sometimes the greater impact has come from a small group conversation—or even a one-on-one. An Instagram post might be a useful tool, but every one of your daily interactions will leave an impression.
When you’re aware of your impact and are consistent in your message, you can measure your success and legacy not by dollars or dishes or titles or status, but by the way you’ve made people feel. If you move through your career with integrity, responsibility, and respect for others, you will always feel more personally fulfilled. And on the professional side, the positive networks you help create will likely have greater potential to generate opportunities that align with your values.
…And Know When to Walk Away
Lastly, it can be extremely difficult to know when to walk away from a situation—especially when you are a committed team player and a dedicated worker. But it’s also critical to define those boundaries and know when an effort is taking more from you than you can ever hope to gain from it. To recognize your worth is critical for your own career and mental wellness, and also signals to others that they should feel valued, too. That’s a message that can benefit every woman—and human being—in any industry.
